Thanksgiving is tomorrow! I’m so busy with dinner preparations I almost forgot to do this post. Well, and I’ve never blogged before. Blogged is the right term, right? Someone asked me to do this and I really know nothing. What do I write about? I guess me.
My name is Emily Valentine and I’m Jay Valentine’s mom. I miss him so much. This will be the first Thanksgiving without him. Which means there are some things that won’t make it to the table this year because he was the only one who liked them.
I don’t suppose you want my biography, right? Just stuff that’s relevant to here and now. If that’s the case, my whole life was my son. I honestly don’t know who I am without him. I’ve been so lost since that summer day when Turner and Brad came with the police detective to inform us. We were leaving for a special trip, just me and Jim, Jay’s father. It was our anniversary soon and the only time my husband could arrange to get off work. Now or never, you know? It’s a big year for us, too – 20 years! I was so excited. We were almost ready to leave for the airport. We’d been saving for about five years and were taking a trip to Australia. I’ve always wanted to go there. Instead, our trip money went toward our son’s funeral expenses.
No, I’m not disappointed in the sense that that’s where the money went, but I’m angry that it had to. No one should have to bury their teenage child. We’ll build up another fund and maybe shoot for the 25-year anniversary. Maybe Jim will be retired by then and we can have a true anniversary trip. Maybe by then I won’t be rocked by the tidal wave of emotion that goes with this loss, but I doubt it. I…I can’t do this anymore. Thanks for listening, or reading.